You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.
-Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
Or Tyler Durden.
All of you know this name from 17 years ago. The freedom Tyler taught us still live and exist as principles to liberation.
And, do you know what’s the greatest liberty? What’s the thing that Tyler Durden had and you don’t?
The acceptance that you aren’t special.
Tyler didn’t believe that he is a revolutionary stud to change the perceptions of any unnamed protagonist like Edward Norton.
Do you know the statistics of what your experiences or your pain matters after you die? 0%.
Sad? I don’t think so.
Do you know how the world started?
It all starts with a Big Bang and the energy that is released takes a million years just to cool down and form stars. Stars ignite, form clusters and become galaxies.
Finally, rocks collide and planets are created, including Earth.
And life on Earth doesn’t start until a few more billion years. And you humans? You are just 200,000 years old.
Do you think that the space and the not-so-tiny-twinkling stars give a fuck about why you cried last night?
It has a life. It has too much going on. You’re too irrelevant to notice. You aren’t the center of the universe.
Not only you, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Tyler Durden, Angelina Jolie, everyone you think is special – isn’t to the universe. They too are, just like you, another human that’s gonna die and decompose.
You have a nanosecond on the universal clock to do whatever you want with this life. Do you want a major part of that nanosecond whining?
Who are you complaining too, anyways? You might think people care, but…
Sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.
Everyone has their own share of baggage to carry and cry about. They don’t give a tiny rat’s ass about how you’re dealing with your miserable life.
You may take every action of people personally, but it’s almost never about you.
Paranoia is just narcissism.
Sure, you may have your family and some close friends that care about you. They help you whenever you need.
But they don’t think about you, as much as you think about yourself.
Why? Because they think about themselves, just like you.
If you live in a constant anxiety of how people are judging you, you live in a little ugly nutshell that you created for yourself.
A big part of becoming an adult is realizing that people think about themselves, not about you. They think about how their workday went and how they’ll get that promotion, not about how brutally your boss scolded you today.
The opinions of people you’re worrying about don’t think ill of you. They don’t even think bad of you. They just don’t think about you, at all.
Now that I’ve successfully made you realize how you don’t matter at all, let me tell you why it’s awesome…
Angelina Jolie was suicidal. J K Rowling battled depression. Lincoln suffered anxiety for years. Art Buchwald had bipolar disorder.
Those ‘special’ CEOs, have double the rate of depression than general public. This is despite their success. And sometimes, even because of it.
Being unique is nice, but it isn’t sufficient for a total well-being and happiness. It surely isn’t the answer.
Even if you get to become the most special of all, you will still be lonely. You will still be frustrated. You will still doubt yourself. You will still worry.
You think you could enjoy all the attention you get, if you ever become that perfect famous snowflake, but it’s not that pretty a picture.
If you don’t get pleasure in mundane activities, you won’t get it anywhere. Simplicity gives happiness more than anything ever can.
Everyone more or less, is an average human being. Thinking you’re born a rare endangered butterfly in the 21st century is just idiotic.
It’s not so bad, being regular. You aren’t entitled to being special. No one is. They just worked the impossible with a tinge of luck.
“You are not special. You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We’re all part of the same compost heap. We’re all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”
I know the world is SCREAMING in your ears about how special each and everyone is in the universe, but narcissism is just making you unhappy.
There is one thing as loving yourself, treating yourself right, respecting yourself, celebrating your individuality and another as thinking yourself as the only lily left in the world.
A fine line, egocentricity and self-love.
Taking yourself so seriously ruins the fun. If you’re God’s unwanted children, so BE IT!
Have you ever thought yourself as ‘too’ special and took things too personally? What was your experience?
I’d love to know in the comments below.
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